Fail.

I couldn't do the cleanse. It literally made me sick...so that's that. Back to weight watchers I go. I feel like such a failure. For many reasons beyond the stupid cleanse. I was supposed to breastfeed and cloth diaper. Fail on both counts there. I was supposed to be a good SAHM and keep the house clean and the husband happy. Fail there too. I was supposed to maintain my thin physique through marriage and pregnancy and beyond. BIG FAT FAIL. I hate this feeling. I'm in a rut and I don't quite know how to get out of it.

The Master Cleanse and Math

So...tomorrow is the first day of the Master Cleanse. If you're reading this and you have no idea what that is, allow me to explain. It's a minimum of 10 days, and all you do is consume a laxative tea in the morning, then a mixture of 8oz water, 2tbsp maple syrup, 2tbsp lemon juice, and a dash of cayenne pepper...and you drink that 6-12 times a day, then a laxative tea at night. Sounds crazy, I know. But I've heard great things about it and my dad just did it with great results. I'm hoping to do 10 days but I may get ballsy (for lack of a better term) and go for more. I know its a cleanse and isn't necessarily for weight loss but I know, being as overweight as I am, that it will yield weight loss for me. So...I'm hoping to lose between 20-30 lbs, even if it is mostly water weight. I'm going to blog my way through it too. Oh boy!

On to math. I am really REALLY bad at math and I have a final on Saturday. I am so nervous that I'm going to fail this class....I don't think I'd actually fail but I'm fairly certain I won't get above a B...ugh. I am so nervous about it that it isn't even funny. I should probably get back to studying now...