Health care or lack thereof

I am so sick of seeing these commercials for affordable health care plans for every individual. Being home all day, I see like 10 a day. I don't even watch that much TV.

As of the new year, my husband's insurance changed and decided to no longer cover dependents. Lovely. So, I set off on a quest to get my baby and I some health insurance. We applied, and found out this past Friday that she was approved but I was denied due to a preexisting condition. I was, and still am, livid. The condition is not that serious, and I'm not even on thousands of dollars worth of medication for it. So I applied at a couple other companies, did the over the phone answering of ridiculous medical questions, and now I have to wait for the decision. It's a hard thing to wait for. I suppose I could just pay cash for my annual checkup and the ONE medication I have to take consistently, but what if I get really really sick? You never know what can happen and it's not a fun thing to have hanging over my head. So, that's that. All I can do is hope and pray that I get accepted, even if it is at a higher premium which I'm sure it will be. I could go on a tangent about the political aspect, and how insurance companies are corporations that could not possibly care less about the individuals, but I won't.

On another topic, I feel like a bad mom today. For some reason I don't feel loving enough. After Leah ate, I tried to talk to her and play with her a bit, and do "flying baby", her new favorite activity where I hold her up so she looks down on me and smiles, and drops drool on my face but that's ok...nothing worked and she was a little fussy. So I set her in the swing and turned it on, and she's fine. What on earth will I do when she outgrows it? I'm sure that won't be for a while since she's tiny and this thing has a playtray, meaning it's probably going to be used for a while, but I just worry that I'm taking the easy way out and not addressing the real issue as to why she's being a little fussy. She's also sucking on her hand right now, her new favorite thing to do. Sometimes I wonder if she knows I'm her mom, and if she loves me or not. It's jsut hard for me to sit at home with her all day. It's not always easy to entertain a 2 month old, case in point...she is fussing.

So that's my fun news for the day. It sucks but I refuse to feel bad for myself.

PS- just saw another insurance commercial.