5 weeks and counting

Well I made it to 35 weeks which is great. There were a few bumps along the way, and a million pounds, but we made it. I went to the doctor on Thursday and she's very healthy, a little over 5 pounds, and very cute. She's head down and ready to go, yay! I'm still nervous of course, but I think it's to be expected.

I hate to say it but I'm actually a little apprehensive about being a mom. What if my baby doesn't like me or can't be soothed by me? What if things get bad with my husband and I? Don't get me wrong, we have a pretty great marriage. Things have been great just the two of us. We giggle while we talk and just lay around watching TV, we tell each other everything, and we generally have a lot of fun together. We have no real issues to speak of. I just hope that the huge adjustment we're going to make is going to ruin that. I feel bad for thinking that way too. :(

Anyhow, I am very sick. I was sick since last Tuesday with what I thought might just be a cold, and every morning I have woken up with a new symnptom, or worse symptoms. It turned into nasal congestion, to a completely clogged nose, the kind where you can't sniff and you feel like blowing your nose is pointless because it fills right back up, a bad sore throat, and a painful cough. On Thursday I got a Z pack, the 5 day pretty powerful yet pregnancy safe antibiotic, and tomorrow is my last pill and I am significantly worse than I was when I started. This scares me. I'm planning on calling my doctor first thing in the morning when I get up. I can handle being sick, even with pneumonia and pleursy (had them before) but my little baby can't. I won't even go into how much this has inhibited my ability to get my house ready for the baby. None of the above list has been accomplished.

Another thing that kind of sucks right now is unemployment. On my original claim, I think I mentioned that child care is a factor in my acceptance of a job or something like that because, well, it is. Apparently the Nevada division of Unemployment thinks a job is going to fall out of thin air for me and that people are going to continue to pay for child care while they don't work. It's unrealistic, but anyhow, they need more information to determine my eligibility. Ugh! It did tell me however to file my weekly claim today, which I went to do, then the lovely internet system told me it had been too long since my previous weekly claim. So, I figure I tried again, and it said I already did. So...who knows. I didn't get any sort of confirmation number or anything. They're supposed to call me Tuesday so I guess we'll see.

So, basically, it feels as if so many things are happening at once. And all RIGHT before we have a baby, literally. I know I can handle it all but it's not too easy. I have to remind myself that someone out there has it worse off than me and it'll pass. Hopefully by the next time I update this, a lot of things mentioned will be resolved. We'll see.